I am Dwight K Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. Along with being an excellent trapper, I’d consider myself an expert on getting out of traps, such as an escape room. Though this proves to be a difficult task for many, it is nothing a Schrute cannot solve. With that, here is my guide to escaping every time.
1. Nothing Can Be Trusted.
Anyone – even your coworkers – can be an imposter waiting until your weakest moment to undermine your power. An escape room is the perfect moment for an enemy to attack. They know you are under pressure and racing against a clock. You cannot trust anyone. You also cannot trust anything. Is there something that looks like a wall? Wrong. It is a door. A door to your freedom which you have consequently opened by not believing what is assumed to be true. Nothing can be trusted, especially in an escape room.
2. Be Assertive
Schrutes produce (as well as award winning beets) natural born leaders. I myself have been drawn to leadership positions both in the office as Assistant Regional Manager and in the community as a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy. I am quite accustomed to taking charge, and I do not have any problem making large threats, such as burning Utica to the ground. This leadership is what will make me not only a great Regional Manager, but also a great escape game player.
3. Know the Limits of Others.
I have to remind myself on occasion that others do not have the same tenacity and strength that I do. In an escape room, while I would remain a fair leader and an expert mystery solver, I understand my co workers lack qualities essential to success in escape rooms. Jim? No focus. Pam? No backbone. Andy? No friends. I do not have clear weaknesses like they do, but in order to escape I must slow my pace so that they can keep up.
4. Show No Weakness.
Enemies can smell fear. Fear is the ultimate sign of weakness. Smiling is second. Your enemy in an escape room is the clock. Fear of the clock will cause chaos and confusion. “Where do we go, Dwight? How do we get out, Dwight? Why are you starting a fire, Dwight?” Simple questions, but my teammates’ fear keeps them from seeing how obvious the answers are.
5. Would an Idiot Do That?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, “Would an Idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing. An escape room is no exception.
Dwight K Schrute: Best Salesman at Dunder Mifflin. Award-Winning Beet Farmer. Lackawanna County Sheriff’s Deputy…and now, master escape artist. I would be able to escape any room with any team. Now that you’ve read my guide to escaping every time, you can be one step closer to becoming my equal…but not quite.